so close, yet so far away.

GONNA BE M-I-A!
 

(via touchthevelvetsk-y)

Hey. Got banned from the computer, yay. Now i'm using the computer secretly so i could at least update my blog a little before i'm gone. Yeah i know im bad.
Ooh the holidays are finally here. I can finally take a deep breath and relax. Got so many things planned~~ 8D Like hanging out with my girlfriends and watching movies.
BTW, I saw a uber cute guy yesterday over at esplanade. OHBBY he's from korea, he wore black framed glasses and he look just like jaejoong, just that he's a bit shorter. He looked sad, and it's quite obvious he's trying to hide it. He forced out smiles; he seems so alone, so lonely, like those guys in dramas whom always get hurt in their love life. Somehow i pity him and i want to console him. I don't know what i'm talking haha. :)
I want to indulge myself into other people's world, so i'll watch korean dramas. Those sad but amusing dramas that will make me cry my souls out and laugh my head off.
In fact i'd do anything that can distract me from this world i'm currently in. It ain't fun, ain't interesting, ain't happy. Every minute i feel like i'll just break down. I'm so tired, i tried so hard, but to no avail, and it's like everything's against me. I can't do anything right; and making my parents disappointed is the only thing i master.
That's why i said i want to distract myself. I want to let go, put everything behind my back and relax for just a while - even if it's just for a few minutes, as long as i feel free of troubles.
I feel so lonely these days. There's nobody to comfort me when i'm hurt, nobody to chat with when i'm bored, nobody to pour my sorrows out to, nobody to sms. I'm all alone, in the bedroom all the time - daydreaming about unrealistic things, or listening to blasting music, or just staring into space. I feel empty.
Friends making me disappointed over and over again, but i remained silent everytime; i didn't say a word. I tried to forgive and forget, and i hope that by doing so everything will be much better & easier. Oh, i don't forgive because i'm weak, i forgive because i'm strong enough to know that people make mistakes. I convinced myself that things don't always go right, although i know that i'm obviously lying. Speaking about which, i lie too much. Okay i must stop this sickening habit, though i must tell white lies sometimes.
I need a hug people. A HEARTWARMING, LOVELY, SWEET HUG. A hug that makes me forget everything. Ugh.
Bye people, i'm off to re-watch Boys Over Flowers.

On a side note - Miss Lim, i will definitely miss you. I can't believe you're leaving just because of us... You must've hated us to the core, haven't you? :( I'm guilty of my previous actions, and if i could turn back time i wouldn't be so rowdy and noisy, i'll be more responsible and obedient, i'd improve on all of my weaknessess, i'd do anything that makes you happy... Because i want you back, Miss Lim. This is all so sudden and abrupt.. Miss Lim, you do so much for us, although it might not be visible to some, i can see your effort. You're a great teacher; i'm not lying this time. I will never ever forget you, Miss Lim. Although i only know you for a few months, you will be in my heart forever.
Bye Miss Lim, perhaps leaving would be a better choice for you. Fight on for your future! :D

mia

MIA!

Got banned from the computer, hah :X

nothing to be said.

(via reviviscent)

Sometimes there is nothing to be said. Sometimes nothing should be said.
I just want to find someone who won't run away. Someone to look me in the eyes and tell me it's okay that things don't always go right. That this is how life works, and how it will always work. That it's not going to be easy. Today, tomorrow, the next day, but it will somehow get better.
But that person doesn't exist.
I hate the fact that its so hard to trust you. The fact that you were never honest, the fact that i actually thought i knew you. The fact that if anyone said anything, without hesitation i'd point my gun at you. At first i thought that you would at least have some simple manners by apologising, but you didn't. You're acting as if nothing happened just because i didn't say anything; you didn't even say a simple sorry. In fact you even laughed as if it's a joke. How funny. And so i went oh-how-wonderful i have free drama to watch. But for godness sake, have some respect for others, alright? Also, please look who's talking. Hey, are you telling me you don't even have the basic knowledge that you have no rights to comment on others because you ain't their mother? And i'm not your dog in case you aren't aware. You borrow things from me and without second thought i give what you want to you. But if i ask a simple small sweet from you, you say no. You say others are so selfish and self-centered, HEY, it's not like you're not! Set an example before you say anything about others! Shame-less. A gentle reminder - i'm not scolding you. I'm just teaching you basic respect & manners you don't seem to know at all.

to be on the edge of breaking down.

Hello there. I privated my blog. So as to block unwanted people to read my entries.

I'm currently suffering from insomnia and my mind's in a mess and i feel stabbed at the heart. I simply can't survive without my earphones plugged into my iPod and with songs blasting at my ears. Thank you music, for being with me when no one else is. Now that my sister's gone.
I think so much and i'm getting real emotional these days. And that's why i'm so quiet these days in school. Not that i'm acting or what.
Feeling empty again. Nothing seems interesting or amusing to me anymore.
How i wish i was a bird. No need to worry about anything. Absolutely free. Flying all around the place looking for food. Yeah, how i wish i was a bird.
Instead of a sickening useless human.
How i wish i was killed by the earthquake that hit Haiti earlier this year. Yeah i know maybe i'm being too serious. Now i just see no point surviving. No point existing in this world.
Everything would be so much better.

Wow, now i just notice that my sister is the only one who is willing and available anytime for me to rely on. And she did not complain. I shall not take her for granted. And i never will. Despite me flaming at her frequently due to my bad mood.
Friends.
No such things. They are still human beings just that you communicate with them. No offence though, i just lose trust in everyone now.

Yeah.

Told You So.

'Cause you said said he was the one
Baby yes you said said you were in love
When you left me you said that you wouldn't be
Comin' back remember that but I never agreed

I hate to say it but I told you so
Told you if you left that you were gonna be miserable
Guess he don't do it like me or else you wouldn't be
Runnin' back to the past it was you that left me
I hate to say it but you know I'm right
Everytime you're up be callin' for me late at night
But now that you ain't got me tell me where you gon' be
'Cause I can't take you back no my heart won't let me
- Jesse McCartney's Told You So

Horribly nice song and the lyrics sink deeply into me. Addicted to it:D
Okay. I look forward to tmr. as long as i am with him. ♥

napfa

Today NAPFA...
Got As for all stations except shuttle run ==" If not for that i would've gotten gold.
I jogged all the way. 13.0 manzxc D: But yay Monday i can rerun! HURRAY :D
Then for sit and reach i under-performed. BOOOOO! Oh and rachel dunno what happened to her she got 50 51.5cm O_O I was like OMG.
*squeals* OMG he talked to to me! finally! xD so happyzxc
Haizz... thinking of privating my blog.. Should i? Hahah. And ooh rachel ILY xD You finally realise how irritating she is! :D

BTW, currently suffering from heartache x.x dunno why though. Like suddenly my heart will ache like crazy. Feel like crying T_T AHHHHHHH his smile is just like hongki's. Can't stop but fall for him.
Okay, that's all... nothing much to talk about. All crap. HAIZZ... EMO EMO EMO

MIA

GONNA BE MISSING IN ACTION!

so sorry if i did not reply your tag T^T too busy ~!