electric heart

Don't mention today a bit. In school it went quite well, but after that,
MAN don't even try to let me think of it -.-'
Cause it sucks. Sure it do.
At first i planned to go back to JWPS. But WTH i suddenly don't feel like it. PLUS i want to study study study. Kay?

Man i think i'm getting cough and runny nose again. I mean, it's not even 2 weeks? Fuck.
I ate some fried food just now. Oops.
My immune system sure is running low. Fuck.
Ooh yeah and Sam L's sick. Gosh, what happened? So many people are getting sick lately. Take care and get well soon kay :)

But whatever la, anyway tmr i think i'm either going to have a blast or stay at home slacking. Jeez, i should really start studying -.-
Fuck fuck fuck. *currently pissed off*

Now, my brain, can't work well. So pardon me.
:D

For godness' sake stop acting as if you know everything. Stubborn.

living a teenage dream

Hey hey hey people :)

Okay. School was absolutely boring. So let me quit elaborating.
But set this aside first, Yijing get well soon kay?? :)

Tomorrow's teachers' day celebration! And we got to wear our class T-shirts!! Oh yeah yeah yeah! Can't wait haha! Anyway, i don't feel like going back to JWPS man. Like totally. At first i wanted to, cause i missed all my dear teachers but man, i just can't make up my mind. I'm always like that. Unable to make up my mind and stuff. I may choose choice A, but right at the last minute i may choose choice B instead.
Whatever la. I think i'm going to Jurong East Library and study study study. :D
See, how hardworking i am becoming. Now i'm finally motivated to achieve whatever i want.
For once i'm gonna be proud of myself :D

Gosh gosh gosh.
How can people be so mean nowadays. Seriously, if i come to think of it, that girl really is a bitch.
Snatching other people's friend and stuff? Self-centred, brainless, the one who always think she's right?
Man, she is being wayy to selfish. Thinking that having this sucky attitude of hers will take her somewhere? Dream on girl.
You seem so innocent at the surface.
But you're not.
You're just ACTING. Drama lah.
Now you're snatching another one. Gosh gosh gosh. Why are you making another innocent girl your poor victim?
If you continue being like that people will just get irritated and annoyed of you. When they know the truth.
People are not as stupid as you think kay. Now get that straight into your thick thick skull.
Okay, don't you need a license to be so ... stupid? I didn't know that you can be THIS BAD.
You're just causing more people to get hurt.


Yeah i know i'm totally out of this situation. I'm not even close to that girl. Call me nosy if you want. I am bored okay :)
So let me sit back and watch this awesome drama. See how pathetically alone you will end up like.
Then, you will find another victim yet again. Hope i will not be the one :)

fuck this, fuck that.

GOSH, all of a sudden i feel so scared. Nothing else is more important than my studies now!
I've already failed so many subjects, what if i get kicked out of Nanhua?
NO WAYYY MANN. I'D DIE A PAINFUL DEATH.
ARGH. MUST PASS SA2 WITH FLYING COLORS!!! Looking back, what about my goal? My wish? F. Buck up mannn ZHENG YOYO!

but the truth hurts

Fuck MATH. I hate common test gosh manz.
And geog. Can't believe i failed Geog! I studied so hard for it! If i fail any other subjects i'm seriously gonna hate myself for the rest of my life :]
I'd been imagining my future house for the whole day. Aww, lovely cozy house of mine..
Anyhoo, fell in love with the song Impossible by Shontelle.




It's my fault everything ended up like this. I screwed everything up. There's no one to blame. If i knew how to treasure things when they're right... it wouldn't be the way it is now. Even if it is.. it wouldn't be the same anymore.


Flight to hell, here i comeeeeee!

it's all lies

Today all began with an absolutely awful bus ride to school. I hate taking buses now! My daddy's car is so much better T_T There's no seats and i hate to stand there with a heavy bag, being squeezed by so many people. Gosh, plus some people smells AWFUL.

The Chinese test was okay. I leave 2 blanks. And i practically wrote crap for the whole paper.

I guess school was still as usual until LUNCH. WTH la bingwei threw a broom right at my head. I know he didnt do it on purpose but WTH!!! I was playing with my tablet and suddenly a broom came flying towards my direction -.- WALAOEH DAMN PAIN OKAY. I was like damn pissed off and i swore at him loads of times, in any way i can think of. And THANKS DELL FOR CARING =DDDDDD

Then home econs, it was okay. But lol rachel put a bomb on my hair and i cannot do anything with it or else she'll never forgive me for the rest of her life. Then i smacked Dell's butt and she say she wan sue me T_T DELLLLLLLLL HOW CAN U BE SO CRUEL TO UR EX WIFE?!?!!?!?!?!!!?!!! %(#$)(#$)%#$%#$%$#%$#%))@$(@#!!?

Then WENT HOME with the same old people YET AGAIN
I got 2 free tickets to hell from CATO CHUA. Anybody wanna go with me? :)

ok please stop reading from here now :) cos below it's just some crap stuff.

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

— Marilyn Monroe

Yeah. 失去过才懂得珍惜.

People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life…

EPIC.

Ain't nature beautiful...

Gosh, today is just EPIC.
After school. Took MRT home with the same people and saw TKW. But anyway.
A NHHS boy was at the bustop with his shorts unzipped (so we can see his underwear) and me and Cato and Sam were in a middle of a conversation but Cato just said "Boy, zip up your pants." And that boy was like O.O He don't even know him xD LOL CATO you very observant hor! ROFL EPIC EPIC EPIC xD
School was still as boring except that for ICT i was darn busy. Walking around like mad woman :p And today i can officially and finally confirm that my vocabulary DO SUCK.

I came across this in facebook and i thought it was creative, lol

has often looked at people and wondered, out of  10 million sperm, you were the fastest!

Yeah i know i am a sicko. But this never came across my mind until today. Haha yeah my pure mind is once again polluted xD

Btw, to that particular person, i dont like you but i dont hate you either. Just want to tell you that your life will be even more miserable if you continue like this, just hoping, and not doing anything. You are a nice person. But you dont grab the chances to express yourself at all. You know so many people hate you because they have misunderstandings, but why ain't you doing anything? If you continue to be like that, let me assure you, you'll be unable to survive in the social world when you grow up. Not all friends will stick with you throughout your whole life journey. You are being a bit narrow minded here. You must learn to buck up and work harder for a better tomorrow. Not just sitting there and wait and hope. I want to help you, but what can i do? I think i already did what i am supposed to. Whenever i tell you your mistakes, you don't listen and CHANGE. You said you will, but yet again it's just a empty promise. Don't make promises if you can't make it or do it. You will just disappoint another person. Not all people know how to appreciate you and accept you for who you are, so the only solution now is MEET THEIR EXPECTATIONS, as long as they're not too ridiculous. Dont you know that 'learning to change and be a better person' is a very important quality for a successful person. Please, seeing you in such a condition doesn't make me any happier either. Whenever i see people scolding you, backstabbing you or even swore at you, my heart will ache a little and yea, i want to help you. But i dont know why but my other side told me to just let it be. So, at least for me, CHANGE.

so uninspired

Letting go doesn't mean giving up, but not accepting things that weren't meant to be.

Today was ... Well it left me speechless anyway.
Yesterday's Geog was a EPIC FAIL. Hard luh, especially the mapwork =.=" But history was unexpectedly easy. At least better than i thought. Wrote a lot.
Then lessons were boring as usual. I had loads of gummy bears~ School was so peaceful until lunch. People like Rachel, Szeyin, Val and Cherlyn tried to upskirt me. And i didn't wear pants inside. Gosh but i am obviously smart enough so they didnt really manage to upskirt me ^-^ I ran around and had a wonderful exercise. Wow, looking back i havent been exercising for months!
So anyway. After school took direct bus to JP with Sam, Yijing, Cato and Bingwei. Rachel came with us until Clementi MRT. We went totally crazy at the bustop. Squeezing each other and stuff. Hadn't laughed like mad for such a long time xD Then we laughed like damn loud and people were like staring at us luh. LOL and we saw the sweet couple. We had a plan but didnt succeed. We also saw Dell <3 and disturbed her. Or should i say he xD Then when he/she got onto the bus me and rachel were like kissed Dell goodbye =] Dell, see, you so famous, so many supporters. And i realised that you are seriously TOO KIND and uber patient lor! :')
Haha at first we wanted to sit 154 double deck but we didnt have all the time in the world so just hopped onto a random single deck 154. And had a uber random chat in the darn bus.
Reached JP, went to Popular with SAM for her to buy book, then to Shilin to buy chicken. I didnt had appetite but borrowed Yijing's money to buy anyway, cos i couldn't resist tempatation :] But now i cant finish it =.=
Then walked home :p

Read Eminem's lyrics, and realised they're seriously awesome. Just changed my blog song to Bruno Mar's Just the way you are, by the way.

Now i shall officially start mugging for tomorrow's EL. I suck at summmary writing.

beautiful things

hell yeah!

Gosh this song inspired me hard. Its currently playing in the background.

All this pain
I wonder if I’ll ever find my way
I wonder if my life could really change at all
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found
Could a garden come up from this ground at all

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

And i must study for common test this time!
It's time for me to score well and finally achieve a goal

love or hate

Hello GUYS :D
Today was unexpectly peaceful :) Physics and biology was boring, but the bio teacher is like so rushing, my brain had to work really fast in order to get what she's actually talking about -..- Recess i had to stay back and revise for chinese test. Hardworking me :) And the teacher finally notice that we actually che*t. Guess i was being too obvious :S But smart me had an idea right away ;)
Next was geog. Slacked through even though i know it's the Common test next week :( And i had a really wonderful laugh. Finally, for like centuries i finally laughed so hard! That's a good sight. I means i am being H.A.P.P.Y! \m/
Swimming was fun :)
And CATO has been really kinds these days, as we agreed to be friends instead of enemies :D WHOA DUDE I LOVE PEACE MANN OMG

Sometimes i think i'm being too harsh, evil, bad, to such an extend that i hate myself, i want to hit myself hard.
I do not know what i want. And hurting her... I dont know what to do and... what i actually want. Curse this hate between all of us. HATE, i guess it's better off you didnt exist! She is quite innocent. i mean, what exactly that she do that make your hate her so much. Just because she has a 欠扁 look? But what can hate do? She'll get killed or something? Nevermind, i'd not be influenced. ARGH. I'd rather things be like before. I am confused, yeah. My mind is in such a state that i feel there's a mini tornado war inside :p I wish time could rewind :( Back, all the way to the beginning of this year. sigh......

OMG THIS LOOKS AWESOME I WANNA EAT!

And just what, i found a image that exactly illustrates what im feeling inside.

and this,

and finally this.

I can't help but agree with all of them.

Finding inspirational pictures has been my recent hobby ^.^

People, you'd never guess how i was like back in the primary school days. Before i switched school i was a really immature gangster who do very, very bad things. So bad you wouldn't be able to imagine, seriously. But the moment i switched school, i became a girl who is so shy and seem like a teacher's pet. That was P4. P5 & P6 i became better, but still very shy. When i got into secondary school, everything changed. The originally shy me became much more sociable and fun, the sensitive, pessimistic and easily hurt me became much more strong and opstimistic. I also had more mature thoughts. This year, i'd change my personality for good.
And it is still changing. I have more than one personality, which can change in a flash - on and off, up and down, back and forth, black and white, day and night - this is the essence of a Gemini's personality. On good days, i will be charming and gracious, but on bad days i can be moody and even cruel. So learn to expect anything from me ahahaha!! xD
Guess i really had nothing better to blog :p

on a greyscale

Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)

Lazy to do la.

Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

Because i'm careful enough..?

Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

Too be honest, no :) I treasure life a lot kay.

Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?

FOOD! :D:D

Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?

-.- I will remain a virgin until the day i am married. But if someone got pregnant by accident, i don't know what to do :S

Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.

Just let all my bad points go away.

Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.

Dear Yoyo,

Although sometimes i really hate you, you are always so awesome and cool and just... awesome. Yeah always remember you ain't perfect or anything so must be prepared to change to be a better person anytime. Also, know that you are not the best, and that be more responisble and stuff. People may not appreciate you, but always treasure yourself~ BEAR IN MIND that you have a very important mission in life!! You set it some time ago and you've got to achieve it, no matter what happens, no matter what other people say or whatever. I don't care but you must make it! And for once you'll feel so accomplished and proud of yourself and all the people around you will look up on you. Well, just fight on :D

Well OMG I JUST LOVE YOU ZHENG YOYO :D

Haha for a million years i did not update and finally, here i am. I had no mood at all. In fact, this post was forced. I feel so bad neglecting my blog ahaha :p I completed the 30 days chanllenge! :D Ain't the letter nice? I think nobody understands it but whatever//
Argh, these fews days were horrible. Not as in life or anything, the main problem is with ME.
It's like life is oh-so-peaceful, but it was so peaceful it became boring. The boring me hence went to look for something to do.
And guess what out of my wonderful boredom i made myself an awesome freak. Telling myself how empty, how sad and how miserable my life is, and to make a long story short i am making myself SAD. Sound like a freaking retard eh, lol. Coz looking back life ain't that bad anyway.
Saying that life sucks is just a stupid expression.
WE should TREASURE life, shouldn't we :)

LIFE SO BORING MAKE ME DUN WANNA WRITE SO BYE

Sorry, but everybody is different, everybody has different views, different personalities, different taste, different EQs, etc.
But why is it that you only look at almost everything with your own perspective?
I am not sociable. i may seem to be, but now let me tell u that im not. I donot really know how to start or continue a conversation or topic unless im very close to that person or the topic we're talking about is what im interested in. I am a person who likes privacy. I don't like to tell others my secret, but it's not that i don't trust you. What's the point of being with you if i dont even trust you then? But i may tell you if i found out that i can really trust that person, and will not betray me. I will take time to observe. Once, i told a friend my secret and she just let cat out of the bag out the very next day. However hard to try to tell her to stop, she wouldn't. I was so worried then. I'd experienced this before, that's why im so afraid. My personality keep changing, sometimes so fast i don't even know it changed. Sorry, i cant control it. I can survive without friends, but they are like colors to my rainbow, without them life wouldn't mean anything. I rely on myself a lot. This is me. I'm not you. Sociable, observant, kind, dont care about anything, you name it.
Sometimes, being alone feels so good, i just want to be alone. Not that i dislike all my friends and dont want to hang out with them.
You say i am fake, it's because of my moodswings and stress and maybe im sick. You ask me why, but what can i say? I'm afraid you'll take me as a friend who likes to complain so much, every conversation with her is so boring, all i hear is her complains about what blah blah blah. You wouldnt like this kind of people right? You would be pissed off, coz ur originally good mood is destroyed just because for my complaints. Because i have A LOT of complaints. seriously. once i start i cant stop. But if you wont, then maybe i'll tell u more things in the future. Because as for me, i dont really like the feeling.
I can't help but agree with what you said, but when the hell did i not listen to all of your opinions? I like your opinions. In fact i LOVE them. At least i can be a better person.
But it sometimes depend though. SOME opinions, are just what's seen from the surface. Somethings are not what it seems it's like. I try to explain, but you won't listen. So i give up. But you start to say those untrue things again. I can't stand them anymore. I explain again. You don't listen. the cycle goes on. And this way you know for no reason at all, maybe it's just a human's way of reacting, i'll just think that you are very stubborn and talkative and all of a sudden i will feel like you are so unreasonable and stupid. But i wasn't thinking this way before, i thought they were like golden words to me. It's the way you put it, whether it's convincing or else people will just take them as rubbish. At first i only dont agree with some minor parts of your opinion, but after ur doings, i'll feel that ALL of ur opinions are useless. Coz it's just that you dont hear my point of view. I don't really like your stubbron attitude too. but i choose to keep quiet, coz im afraid you'll feel the same way as i do. You may have ur own reasons for being 'stubborn' which i not know. You understand what i'm saying?Yeah.
And no, i didnt think that you telling me ur views is hurting me. No, never. I read your messages about what you think about my attitude over and over and over again. How can i treat them as hurt if i keep reading them so much? I treasure every bit of them, that's why i keep reading so that i'll not miss any part of it.
You like talking to me, dude i like it too! i thought i knew you so well, i thought our personalities are so fitted. I even once though that aquarius and geminis are just fated to be together.
But now.
You may want to argue more, but im really tired. Please, let me breathe and rest please, im tired, seriously.
Well, this is written from MY perspective. You may not agree with it but, i just want to tell you some piece of my mind. I quitted trying to explain. I know you wouldn't listen. That's why all what i want to say is here.
*some parts above are referring to YOUR, not only YOU. i was too tired to label, lol

love the way you lie

Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

Cry and regret and regret and regret :(

Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

Scored so badly for PSLE

Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.

Some incredible things~

Okay so back from a short MIA, i was so sick :'(
better now.

wedding song

Music: Wedding Song - Lyn
Mood: Exhuasted

Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without,

because you’ve tried living without it.

My computer. Without it i'll just die of boredom.

Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.

Acquaintances, insects

Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

Clover

Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.

They cannot make babies. But, what's wrong with it? We have no rights to seperate two 'oh-i'm-so-deeply-in-love' gays.

Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?

Politics are Boring.

Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.

Drugs are for stupid moronic idiotic dogs. Don't do it. Alchohol is okay, just drink the right amount.

The current me = empty, exhuasted, sick
I'm tired of trying, sick of everything.
I don't even know why my life is in such a critical state now.
I tried to cheer up, but i can't
But at the very least, i've still got one reason to fight on and give in to.